sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
