Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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