watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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