My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
