never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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