Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
