where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
