Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
