so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
