It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
