i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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