break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize