their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
