So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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