I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
