his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
