Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
