We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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