Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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