My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
