therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
