Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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