how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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