I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
