Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
