I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
