i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize