I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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