What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
