I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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