Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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