you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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