Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
