Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
