so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
