Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
