Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
