i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize