hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
