dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
