none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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