I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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