I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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