Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish you could order shots online.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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