On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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