There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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