The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
