how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
