Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
