i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
