Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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