Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
