What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize