So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
