Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
