He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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