What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
