Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We had sex on a dog bed..
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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