Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
