Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
