Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
