I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
