so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
