You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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