She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize