I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
