So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When are your genitals available?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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