i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
