Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wish i was in the wii world.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
