I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Text me some of your sweat
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
