It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
