That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
