did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
